Check Out the New Tab

I’ve talked about it for years, so now I’ve started it. My little space for restaurant reviews. I’m reviewing places that are friendly to vegans in the “Food for Thought” tab. They aren’t in any particular order, except that I’m going to be putting my new reviews at the top. I’ll start in the Boston area, although, who knows? I might need to expand it to a blog on it’s own if people are interested. Stop by!

Confession: My Secret Vision

I have a confession.

I’ve started this blog on a farce. I’m (not so) secretly obsessed with a book and two young men that I have not yet told you about: Me to We by Marc & Craig Keilburger. 

Let me admit upfront that they have an evangelical air to them. However, I do believe that is just show. I feel like they have succeeded where I have only idealized. 

I worked very hard to assert my independence from my parents and my family. They have some admirable attributes, but I was born with different eyes; I see things from different angles. This, combined with being the youngest of my siblings, has hurt my credibility. I hope someday they will se me as something more than “cute”.

Enough of that tangent. Last night I woke up at 3 a.m. to pee and get a glass of water (it seems so counterproductive). I snuggled back into bed, ready to sleep, but No. My mind was teeming with ideas from this book, this Me to We philosophy. This has never happened to me. I’ve had trouble falling asleep before, but I’ve never woken up with ideas. And I thought I was reaching the end of my short teaching career. 

These ideas are coming together as what looks like some kind of Community/Leadership camp over the summer for preteens/teens. We’ll see; I’d like to say it will definitely happen, but I’ve never done anything like this before and while I’m grateful for my husband’s listening ear & insights, I’m hoping others will jump in to do this with me. I need them to push me on & to help make it happen.

 

Stuction

                                                                                             my foot is stuck in

                                                                                          the mud of repetition-

                                                                                      barefoot philosophy

                                                                                  allowing no protection

                                                                              for

                                                                          my

                                                                      small

                                                                  feat

                                                              my breath quickens and I

                                                          panic desperately grasping

                                                      at the crumbling calm

                                                  wall

                                              just

                                          out

                                      of

                                  my 

 

                          reach   

                      I pray my toes

                  are not dissolving

              in the brown sludge, but I

          can’t tell and I

     wonder if I will

ever again move

           forward.

Dignity

squeezing,

sucking in,

damn zipper,

open the door and

Oh.

 

outside my dressing room

or is she on a runway?

caramel, smooth–I’ve never seen

She is beauty; not sex,

but dignity!

She is grace

drones flutter around her, 

tending her every wish–

no wishes at the moment.

stops vanity with her eyes

ivory drapes her body,

she doesn’t see me.

 

     Do you like it?

What?

Oh. I think I like the other one better.

     Let me see if they have the right size.

okay.

Little Girl

spinning girl spinning

she loves the dew between

her toes she loves the white

sky hiding the world

from her eyes

spinning spinning

she loves how her mind dances

while her body spins

to a separate melody

 

arms out she closes her eyes

 

she loves being a bird a princess

a fairy and a dandelion seed

in the wind

spinning girl spinning girl

she’s not bothered by the green

stains or her hair blowing

in her face she’s not

bothered by time

passing she’s not bothered

by the world

existing beyond her fingertips

spinning girl spinning

spinning out-of-control

unabashedly spinning

spinning

PANTS

I wore

your pants today.

They made me

feel sexy, and they 

looked damn good.

I liked being inside 

what you, too,

were once inside.

I touched the spots

that your curves wore down

and wondered how

my curves would change them.

They made my legs

 

warm.

 

Cloning

you in your white dress

you in your cardboard box

 

knit creation

create a me for the awkward

stages of life–

ones i tried to forget

repetition repetition repetition

isn’t always helpful,

why create more ordinary?

take the i out of

life, nothing else to do,

let’s make a clone

grown from just legs,

more to come,

a copy

copy

 

***Note: This was written in response to a MICA student art exhibit around 2001-2002. The picture showed a person knitting “legs”. The person was wearing a white dress. I’d love to have a copy of the picture if anyone has seen it, please let me know.

The Elephant Thing: Rough Cuts & Thought Streams

     Wouldn’t it be great if we could just say things without worrying if it’s okay to let it out? Sometimes I feel like I need to scream just so I can be heard. That’s one way to look at this elephant. With this blog I’d like to show the elephants of my mind for all to see. Or at least for all who are sitting around looking for blogs to read.

     I want to show my passions and have them be seen as beautiful. I wish more people were passionate. 

     I am a vegan. I’m not crazy. I make choices. The taste of meat is something I’ve never enjoyed. I used to slip meat under the table to my dog, just so I could leave the dinner table. In college, I would gag when I had to go home and eat meat. I couldn’t eat it without conjuring the image of my own flesh heated up until it was crispy and on someone else’s plate. 

     That’s when I realized I needed to change my lifestyle; I couldn’t keep putting myself through the torture of eating what I found disgusting. I became vegetarian 8 years ago and vegan 3 months ago. 

     Sometimes it makes me sad that it is difficult to go to a fancy restaurant and get ONE meal that does not include eggs or milk, but I feel that this is changing and we will become a more tolerant community. 

     I’m starting to change other parts of my life also. I try to buy products that are better for the environment. Especially as my husband and I become more financially stable, we want to support companies that focus on being green and we want to be greener ourselves.

     We tried to show our commitment to our values when we got married. We took the “T” (Boston subway) from our church to our reception and it attracted a lot of attention! We had vegetarian ONLY options for dinner. This was not only a big statement to our guests but also to the hotel where we were having our reception. Although our coordinator made some incredibly insensitive comments, she also broadened her view of what a reception could be a great deal. After all her reservations about our choices, she came up to us during the reception and said, “This has been the most fun wedding I’ve helped to plan!” 

     Now here’s my next elephant: I want to do more. I am drawn to helping children, that’s why I’m a teacher, but I think there are other ways that I can help. I want to help children see that there are other options out there–they don’t have to just follow in their families footsteps. They can change things.

     This may not seem like an elephant that you can’t share, but in my mind it is. It identifies me as “idealistic”. And this can sometimes be a synonym for childish. But I think people like me are important too.